It's Fine
by pushpiin
Summary: Sanji says he's fine, that he will survive, but he has reached his breaking point.


i cried while writing this and yeah reviews are appreciated and i hope you enjoy !

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"You should just break up with that idiot. He has done nothing but do the most stupid shit and not think of the consequences or how it will affect you." Nami pauses, "You need to break up with him, the relationship isn't healthy anymore. You're just looking like an idiot holding on to Zoro."

Sanji sighed, "But I love him, even though he's a thick muscle head."

Nami rolled her eyes at Sanji's reply, "Sometimes, love isn't enough." She sipped the green straw from her iced coffee, "This better be his last chance, Sanji, you're just hurting yourself even more."

Sanji just looked at his coffee; he had nothing to say because he knew the girl was right. He heard her sigh, "You never learn, do you? You said the exact same thing you had a big fight with him. He's a cheater too, that's not an exception. You just keep on defending him and defending him even though you know damn well you're wrong and tired." These words made Sanji look up and stare at Nami, she was right, again.

"Alright, I need time to think." The blonde said, standing up from the chair and waving good bye to Nami with a smile. And from there, he saw Nami face palm and just let another sigh escape.

He was walking home, and he was scared. What if Zoro isn't at home? Is he going to leave and move out? Is Sanji going to not find the mairmo's clothes in his closet? He was terrified, because as much as Zoro was a literal pain in the ass (and feelings), Sanji didn't want him to leave.

Why? Because Sanji still believes Zoro will change. Because he's stupid enough to know that love _is_ enough. Because he's convinced they have a better future together. Because he's a bigger idiot than Zoro for falling in love with the man.

When he recalled their conversation last night, Zoro came home drunk half naked.

 _"Sanji…I was with this guy…but he ditched me."_ _Zoro said, kissing Sanji's neck softly._

 _Sanji just stood there, fighting the tears that are about to fall. He didn't want to cry in front of Zoro, not again._

 _"Oh." Was all Sanji could say, he didn't know what to do, stop Zoro or let him be. But thank goodness Sanji is smart, and he pulled away from the green haired man and stepped back a few steps away from him._

 _"Do you not want me anymore?" Zoro asked, almost on his own feet._

 _Sanji wanted to say yes, but this wasn't the man he wanted or dated. This is a different man, it's not Zoro anymore._

 _"I should ask you that question," the blonde paused, "Do you not want me anymore?" It was hard for Sanji, but he did it. He did it even though Zoro couldn't speak properly, even though he's drunk, and even though he probably won't remember any of this the next morning._

 _But he still_ did _it._

 _"I do want you…it's just — '' Zoro fell on Sanji, and he was always there. He was always there to catch him even though it's hurting him._

Sanji didn't get much sleep that night, and walking home, he realized he was scared that Zoro didn't want him anymore; that he was bored of Sanji now.

It pained Sanji just thinking about it, they've been in each other's arms in so long, that the cook didn't even remember living alone.

I take that back, Sanji _does_ remember living alone, because it seems like he is. Except for the fact that Zoro just comes home for dinner, stays for breakfast, and leaves once he already got what he needed; it's like he just uses Sanji as his cook and only his cook. Sanji feels like a cook and only a cook, not a boyfriend anymore. Hell, it doesn't even feel like he's dating anyone; but Zoro's mistakes remind him every time.

When Sanji came home, he was surprised to see the green haired man sitting on the couch watching a random TV show.

Sanji greeted him, "Don't have any dates today? You're not going to go out and just hang out with random people I never know about?"

Zoro looked at him shockingly and innocently, "What do you mean?"

The blonde cook scoffed, "Oh come on, don't act all innocent now." Sanji looked directly to his boyfriend's eyes, "You were with a guy last night, and you came home earlier than you usually do because he ditched you. Afraid you're gonna get ditch again?"

Zoro remembered the guy, but he didn't know about the conversation he and Sanji had last night; maybe that's good the way it is. Or not. The one eyed man didn't know what to say as he recalls how many times he has caught cheating on Sanji. And there, realization came to him.

He imagined how Sanji feels every time he comes home late at night and immediately leaves after eating breakfast.

"I…I'm sorry," was all the marimo could have said.

"So you just realize now, huh? You know, I don't really know why I'm still dating you, that is if we're still dating actually. Knowing you've been fucking around too much and pretty much just cause big arguments with me. But maybe because it's I still love you even though I'm looking like a big fucking dummy," Sanji pauses; lighting his cigarette, "As much as I want to leave you and break up with you, I just can't because I keep on thinking; _how is that stupid marimo going to cook for himself?_ Because I keep thinking about you and ask myself every single time you come home late…" Sanji trailed off, wiping his tears away.

"Are you bored with me? Do you not want me anymore? Am I not good enough? Do you want someone else?" Sanji says in a shaky voice.

Zoro on the other hand was completely speechless, still. He tried hugging the man, but all he does was move away from him.

"You know, there's this question I've been asking myself. Why does every one think I'm not good enough? Every one gives me away like they don't need me. They just throw me away wherever they can. I'm tired of being thrown away, Zoro. I really am." Sanji says, and Zoro damn well knows what he's talking about. He's talking about his family which abandoned him, but thanks to Zeff he grew up just fine.

Zoro just looked at his boyfriend break down, he didn't know what to do and that made him feel like he was nothing. He didn't know how his _only_ lover has been feeling because he just ignores him most of the time. He feels like a horrible person, maybe because he is.

"But you know what? This time, I'm not going to be thrown away; I'm the one leaving this time. I think it's fair for me to leave, after all, I feel like I've been cheated at how many times you have left me. It's my turn to leave, it's not like you would care anyway. Expect me to be gone by tomorrow."

Sanji scoots closer to Zoro, touching his cheeks with his pale hands; "I love you, but it's not worth it anymore."

Sanji _does_ think it is worth it, he just can't wait any longer. He's tired of being hurt and waiting. He's just _tired_ of everything.

"I'm sorry for breaking down, uh; I'll just be in _my_ room. You don't have to say anything, it's okay." Sanji said, wiping all of his tears away and walking to what used to be their room.

And Zoro just stood there, being the asshole he is. Not even coming after Sanji or saying anything; but that's a good thing. No maybe's or not's, because it's a good thing and we all know it. Sanji's finally going to be free from being hurt, and Zoro is finally aware of his mistakes.


End file.
